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“I will never deny you, Lord! I would die first!” Peter exclaimed. Jesus looked at him sorrowfully, knowing the truth, and told him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Then Jesus was arrested, Peter tried to defend Jesus with his sword but was rebuked, and then Peter followed (at a distance) the cohort that arrested Jesus to Caiaphas’ house. It was there that he was called out three times and denied knowing Jesus three times. And then the rooster crowed. Peter’s heart was pierced and broken all at the same time. The guilty conscience must have been overwhelming and he wept bitterly. When Jesus then appeared to the apostles in the upper room, I can only imagine how much the usually outgoing Peter might have wanted to just hide in the shadows, unnoticed, even when Jesus was offering to let the apostles touch him to prove that He wasn’t just a ghost or a figment of their imagination. And then there was breakfast on the shore of Galilee (John 21:12-17), in which Jesus gave Peter the forgiveness and absolution that he doubtlessly ached for; three times Jesus gave Peter a chance to declare his love for the Master again.

Saul of Tarsus had been a fervent worshipper of the God of Abraham since childhood. And in his young manhood his zeal had brought him opportunities to show his dedication to God and his mentors by dealing sternly, even violently with blasphemers and heretics of the Jewish faith — especially disciples of the despised Jesus of Nazareth. But then, on a mission to Damascus to purge these Christian sinners from the earth, Saul discovered just how mistaken he had been. In a flash of light and revelation he learned that Jesus really was the Messiah, the Lord. He had been all wrong, he had actually been fighting against the God he loved and was killing and imprisoning His people! The fact that, even after years of faithful service to Jesus Christ, he still called himself the “chief of sinners” tells us that he still felt the weight of remorse for his sin—even though he’d been assured of his forgiveness.

I have a friend who is a Christian. He’s been a Christian for a long time and has led an exemplary life in many ways down through the years. But not long ago he committed a serious sin. For a while, he hid his sin and tried to salve his conscience by telling himself that he could make things right soon. But the longer things went on, the more obvious it became that he was in too deep. Guilt overwhelmed him and in time even made him sick. Finally he confessed it and is doing his best to make things right. But it is obvious that the grief and remorse still haunt him; it probably will for a long time. 

Guilt does that. Or more accurately, Satan does that to us. Holds out before us, in our private thoughts, our foolishness and sin, the things we never want to remember again. We may close our eyes tight in embarrassed agony, but we still hear and see it in surround sound and 5K clarity (or whatever the state of the art in video is these days). Even things that we’ve repented of, confessed, and tried to learn from still come visiting us from time to time. No wonder Satan’s name means “accuser”. The accusations can cripple us, depress us, sicken us, paralyze us; because “just look at what you did!” It’s one of the devil’s most effective weapons against God’s people.

But praise and thanks be to God the Father for Jesus our Savior, who through His word reminds us of God’s amazing grace and forgiveness. “For while we were yet enemies…”

To my friend who is wrestling with his guilt and the grief of the ruin of his otherwise good reputation  I want to say, rest in the grace of the Lord. And to every other Christian who similarly is attacked this way, remember to put on the full armor of God, including the — helmet of salvation. 

“But if I say, ‘I will not remember Him Or speak anymore in His name,’ Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in, And I cannot endure it.” (Jeremiah 20:9)

Poor Jeremiah! Selected to be a prophet of the LORD, but seldom telling any good news. Most of the time his theme was the deep sinfulness of the people and God’s intention to send them away into exile far from home (Babylon). As God’s spokesman, he counseled surrender to the Babylonians and settle in at the new place you are going to be taken. To say the least, this was highly unpopular and politically incorrect. Apart from Messianic prophecies, the best news Jeremiah got from the LORD to pass on to his generation was that they were going to get to return to their homes in 70 years; that’s a little bit like being told that you’ve been sentenced to 70 years in prison instead of “life”. And Jeremiah got lots of heat for his trouble: derision, mockery, reproach, denouncement. prison, the stocks, a pit, and nearly being left to starve to death. 

No wonder he wanted to just stop talking about the LORD and His message! But as Jeremiah considered just shutting up, his heart began to burn like a fire deep in his bones. What was this fire in his bones? It was a hope against all hope that Judah would repent and possibly avoid the punishment the LORD has assigned to them (see Jeremiah 18:1-12). It was a deep desire for his people to avoid the slaughter, the death, and the destruction that was sure to be the result of resisting Babylon and Nebuchadnezzar, whom God had chosen to be His instrument of punishment against God’s sinful people. Because he cared so deeply, because he couldn’t bear the images of his people’s certain destruction, and because repentance was their only hope; Jeremiah could not be silent. 

Sharing God’s word today is a little easier (at least in our country, for now), but it still is unpopular in most quarters and about many moral and religious subjects certainly politically incorrect. Speaking God’s word can still attract mockery, reproach, scorn, and denouncement from many — friends, family, and the community at large; and we can be very tempted to just shut up. Indeed some of us have succumbed to the temptation and heed the rule of etiquette to never discussing politics or religion. 

But we need fire! Fire in our bones! Where do we find it? The same place Jeremiah found it, in truly caring for the souls of others — the same friends, family, and community at large who scorn the Lord’s will and hold it in contempt.

Care for those souls who are wreaking destruction on themselves through sin in family dysfunction, depression, broken relationships, addictions, crime, violence, guilt, and much more. Those suffering the pain and misery that sin always brings — self-inflicted and inflicted by others. 

Care for those souls who will be judged by Christ as unforgiven, unredeemed sinners, who’ll spend an eternity in Hell away from the presence of the Lord through deafness to God’s word and disobedience. 

Care, knowing that repentance is their (everyone’s) one and only hope. Repentance in believing in (and confessing) Jesus as the Son of God and our Savior; repentance in turning from our sinful, fleshly ways; and repentance in obedience to Jesus and following Him faithfully. 

Please care about the eternal souls of those around you, please stoke the fire in your bones, please never keep silent about the saving and powerful Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is their one and only hope (John 14:6).

It’s an old song, but it has become the theme song — at least in principle — of the American spirit and in an ever increasing measure the spirit of the age, “I Gotta Be Me”. Just look around, watch what’s being done, listen to what’s being said. Observe our modern assumed, inherent “right” to do whatever we want — choose whatever lifestyle, whatever gender, whatever morality, whatever. Even in the religious world, some would even take the old invitation, “Just As I Am” as a permissive religious anthem (it is not, by the way) to extol the complete forgiveness of God without repentance, as if to say, God will accept me and save me exactly as I am, no changes required now or ever. 

While the world cannot be expected to act any other way — it knows no other way — it is not the life of the genuine Christian. Jesus’ call to discipleship was considerably more rigorous.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.’” (Matthew 16:24).

This call was not an invitation to be yourself. Notice the conditional particle in this call, “if”. If we wish to follow Jesus, the first condition is to “deny” ourselves. Thayer (an authoritative Greek lexicon) defines “deny” as: “1a) to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with someone 1b) to forget one’s self, lose sight of one’s self and one’s own interests.” There’s nothing in this definition or in Jesus’ command about just being yourself — at all.

But in case we were a little confused about “denial”, Jesus clarifies in even more extreme language, “die”. That’s what taking up one’s cross is about, dying to ourselves, not “self-realization”. The cross at this point in the world’s history was not a symbol of Christianity; it was a tool of death and execution. If you think of a hangman’s noose or a firing squad, you get the picture. 

And then there’s the business of “following”, not forging your own path, not doing your own thing. Following. Him.

This is why Paul said, 

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20) 

“For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.” (2 Corinthians 5:14, 15) 

To put it bluntly, Christianity is not about you just being yourself; its about disowning who you were, dying to that old self; and instead living the mind, words, deeds, and footsteps of Jesus in your present circumstances. It’s about letting the light of Jesus shine in you in your school, business, community, neighborhood, circle of friends, home, bedroom, and even your mind. 

Being “me” has been the starting point of many a half-hearted disciple. It is what has been rightly called “cheap discipleship” — a full embrace of grace and forgiveness with only a casual approach to obedience. As a follower of Jesus, it must never be I Gotta Be Me; rather, it must always be I Gotta Be Jesus. It’s not a call to perfection, but it is a call to take discipleship seriously.

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(John 14:10, 11) “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves.” 

We’re all familiar with the passage in Galatians 2:20 and others places where we are told that Jesus needs to be living in us: (Galatians 2:20) “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” The question, however, is whether or not we know what it really means?

This can be clarified somewhat by what Jesus Himself said about the Father living in Him (see John 14:10,11 above). He points out confidently that His words are not really His own. Moreover, His works are really the Father’s works, too. The clear implication of these verses and the larger context is that His complete life — words, deeds, attitudes, compassion, love, values, mercy, judgment, anger, and even more were direct reflections of the nature and personality of the Father.

This finds application in our own lives, when we realize that letting Christ live in us is not a matter of a little here and a little there. Discipleship is a whole life commitment. All your old words, old works, old attitudes, old values, etc. are now to be dead. Instead all of Jesus’ words, works, attitudes, values, and more now find expression in our everyday lives — public and private. In every ordinary conversation, situation, social scene, Facebook post, way we spend our weekends, priorities we hold to, things we choose to eat or drink and their amounts, who we think about first (and last), jokes we tell and laugh at (yes, Jesus had a sense of humor), etc. our old choices should die and Jesus’ reign supreme. All the time, every day, everywhere, and under every condition. This is the way that Jesus let the Father live in Him.

But how do we know what Jesus’ reactions, responses, words, deeds, etc. would be like in our 21st century lives? Jesus was with the Father from the beginning and was inspired by the Holy Spirit, but how can we know. Many believe that we have to just sort of go along with our feelings and other relative and subjective “wisdom”. But we’re not at helpless as we might believe. 

First, read the Bible. This sounds so simple, but it is so crucial. The Bible is God’s word. The stories are there so we can know about the nature of the Father. In both OT and NT we see the many facets of our God in many, many situations. In the Gospels we likewise see Jesus among friends, social situations, among enemies, and in the midst of thorny problems; we see His values, morals, priorities, and so much more. So, read. Not just to say that you did, but to associate with Him, come to know him, come to predict how He’d talk, act, think, and feel.

But secondly, we’ve been given the Spirit to help guide us (Ephesians 3:16). Now, this is not a touchy-feely offshoot of the charismatic world that I’m talking about. This help from the Spirit is preceded by a knowledge of Scripture (which the Spirit would never contradict) and a sensitivity to doing right.

When we become Christians, we are committing to die to ourselves and live to Christ. Will you? Or will you settle for a worldly version of Christianity, in which one may pick and choose the times we’ll be like Jesus? Let’s choose Jesus’ definition of discipleship.